Chicago for Labor Day!

Duane and I were able to spend an AWESOME weekend with Robin, Davey, Emilie, and Abigail before Emilie headed off for grad school at UCLA, and Abigail headed back for her junior year at Wheaton College.  Robin is now in divinity school at Moody, and Davey got a big promotion at work, so it really was kind of a last HURRAH before everyone got super busy.

We explored Lincoln Park Zoo, the Chicago Botanic Garden, hung out at Lake Michigan, and ate some FABULOUS food!!

Here's hoping YOU had a GREAT TIME hanging out with people you love recently too!!

Dad...

...for a sad post.  My dad died a week ago (today).

Although he passed quickly at the end, it wasn't, altogether, unexpected.  We've been thinking about the possibility, in the back of our minds, since 2009 when he went through a catastrophic series of medical issues, and were blessed with TEN YEARS of "bonus days" as he liked to say, but you are never really prepared when it actually happens.

He went into the Mt. Ayr hospital three weeks ago with issues that we thought were related to pneumonia.  He was assessed at the county hospital, and was then air lifted to Des Moines.

He spent two weeks in the CICU and had great difficulty breathing, due to COPD.  He also suffered, we believe, a heart attack, but the doctors weren't able to do an angiogram to assess the damage until Tuesday of the second week he was there, because of the breathing issues.

After the angiogram last Tuesday, they discovered that four of his five bypasses had collapsed, and the stents that had been inserted during two previous heart attacks had closed as well.  Faced with a lifetime on "just medication", which wouldn't necessarily have helped, since he was also battling kidney, circulation, and lung issues, he made the decision to enter "comfort care" instead of "aggressive care".

It's my understanding that "comfort care" basically makes you comfortable until you die.  Once he chose this route, he was given a morphine drip, and never regained consciousness before he passed. 

I rushed down from the cities last Thursday to see him before he passed.  It was a gut wrenching decision, but we decided to turn off the oxygen he was receiving.  We agonized about reducing the amount gradually until it was zero, but the ICU nurse said that we weren't prolonging his life...just delaying his death.  So....we made the decision to shut it off, and I was AMAZED at how quickly he died after that.  Fifteen minutes.  

After he died we headed back to mom's house, and in the three days following, met with the funeral home, bought a casket, planned the service (he had already written his own obituary), and this past Monday, attended the funeral, and buried him.

So many emotions course through your system during the grieving process.  That first night after he died, I didn't want to go to sleep because it was the last day that I saw him alive, and from that point forward every day would be a day that he was no longer with us.

Grief is a weird thing.  I'll be fine one minute, and sobbing uncontrollably the next.  Little things set me off...like when I had to buy a birthday card for my niece and passed the "Happy Birthday Dad" cards...or when I came across a can of Bush's Baked Beans (one of his favorites) while cleaning out a cupboard.  I feel guilty for not calling or visiting more...I can't sleep...I walk around in a daze for most of the day.  So many feelings.

My dad was an AMAZING man, and I was so fortunate to have him in my life.  He came from a poor, working class family who was not very demonstrative with emotions, yet he made sure to change that with our family and tell us he loved us every day.  He guided us, taught us, cared for us, and supported us in everything we did.

Rest in peace, dad.  I miss you.

1990 Trip Around the World with Kimberly in TEN Photos!

Since I just spent THREE years blogging about my life in Japan, I decided I didn't want to write multiple posts about Kimberly's and my trip around the world. 

It was fun.  It was frustrating.  It was exhilarating.  It was scary.  It was amazing.  It was stressful.  It was a once in a lifetime opportunity. 

We argued.  We got homesick for the peace and calm of Japan.  We saw some SPECTACULAR sites.  We got lost.  We were found.

One of us got flashed by an old guy in a public park.  One of us had a voyeur try to sneak a peak at the "family jewels" under a toilet stall.  One of us got food poisoning from some "sketchy" mead.  One of us almost didn't make it home on the final leg, after spending the night at Heathrow, because of a plane ticket that was to only be used by "Japanese nationals".  

So...in ten photos from our journeys through Singapore, Athens, Corinth, Fira, Heraklion, Paris, London, Stratford-Upon-Avon, and Edinburg, here's our journey...

 the Parthenon with Lycabettus in the distance- Athens, Greece

 Kimberly "posing" in the Royal Gardens- Athens, Greece

 Thira, Santorini, Greece

 me "posing" on Santorini, Greece

 church in Thirassia, Santorini, Greece

 on the beach in Crete, Greece

 looking dapper at Notre Dame- Paris, France

 the view from Frettra and Michelle's balcony- Paris, France

 posing with the queen at an Elizabethan banquet- London, England

 Holyrood Castle- Edinburg, Scotland

Here's hoping YOU have fond travel memories too!!!

Notes and Reflections After Completing the Blogging of My Two Years in Japan

After spending the last three years going back through my journals, and COUNTLESS MILLIONS of photos (from the time when you actually had to load film into a camera.  I can't IMAGINE having digital photo capability during that time...the photos would number into the BILLIONS!!) here are some reflections on the journey...

I am, actually, gay, and was while living in Japan, but was, at that time, fighting it with all my might.  Growing up Baptist, it was ingrained in my psyche that I was going to burn in hell for who I was.  The tragic thing is...I actually believed it.  It's sad that some people still do.  So...all the stuff about Stephanie during the first 8 months of posts, and the entries about Chizuru, Mika, and later, Mitsuko, were really just futile attempts to be "normal".  I really did care for each of them, but...none of the relationships would have worked out.  Once I finally DID come out (about eight years after moving back from Japan), life took a HUGE turn for the better, and I've been much happier with who I am ever since!

I managed to maintain relationships with others via snail mail (Facebook and blogging weren't even a "thing" until about the time I came out), but, sadly, was abandoned by several when I told them I was gay (one even writing back to tell me that "the devil was whispering in my ear" and that I needed to repent).  No worries.  My life is better without them in it.

Mitsuko ended up being roommates with my sister when they both moved to Los Angeles in the early 90's.  They were roommates for about 5 years.  It was fun to continue the friendship through that different venue, but, again, when I came out, things got weird.

Kimberly and I DID take that trip around the world!  I kept a journal of the trip (well...after two years, how could I not continue to journal?!  Perhaps that will be my next series of posts!).  It was amazing, and frustrating, and full of adventure!  She and I live in the same metropolitan area, and, even though we hardly ever see each other (busy lives going in twelve different directions), I still consider her one of my oldest and dearest friends.

I am also "Facebook friends" with many of the people in these blog posts...Janet V., Chinatsu, Akira, Masano, Mike B., Mr. M., Nobu, Mika.  I have, unfortunately lost track of many people.  I search Facebook, every now and then, to see if I can reconnect with various friends, but it's been very "hit or miss".

Masano and I were FINALLY able to get together again for the first time in THIRTY years last year.  I met her husband, and was adopted as an "uncle" by her two AMAZING kids.  We now get together once a year, and it's WONDERFUL to be reconnected again!!

I actually wish I could go back and do it all again, but at the age I am now.  I'm sure many things would have been different.  I would probably still have still found KIBC an oasis and "home", but would have been more authentically myself, and not hidden behind my "Baptist-ness" (of which I now profess to be "in recovery" from).  I made some wonderful friends, and they helped me survive and thrive during my time there.

I spent so much time whining about things that weren't going the way I thought they should, and about the politics of Hinomoto, and the struggles with my faith.  Now that I'm a "grown up" I realize that things OFTEN don't go the way I think they should...and how I react to those situations is far more important.  Every job in EVERY profession has it's own political turmoil...how I navigate those politics is, again, more important.  My faith...is strong!  Japan was a test of that faith.  All of the situations, obstacles, joys, challenges, and opportunities helped me to grow enormously.  I consider my time in Japan one of my greatest life adventures!

I still miss Japan greatly.  It was an amazing experience, and I wouldn't trade any of it for the world.  I DO hope to get back some day, and still have dreams about it when I sleep.

Here's hoping YOU have similar life experiences that helped you grow into the AMAZING person you are!  Thanks for sharing this journey with me, and I look forward to again writing blog entries from THIS decade!!!

Random Photos Not Highlighted in My Journal Entries: 1988-1990

Note:  This is a series of journal entries from my two years living in Himeji, Japan (1988-1990).  I'm archiving them electronically through my blog.  Last names have been deleted and replaced with first initial only.  For details on this series of blog entries, see this post.

Things clearly got a little hectic during my last few days in Japan, since the entries end with my previous blog post, which was a few days before Kimberly and I headed on our TRIP AROUND THE WORLD, before returning to the states.

Reading back through my journals, and looking through the THOUSANDS of photos I took, there are some events for which I didn't write a journal entry.

Here...in no particular order...are photos that merit being included...

Chinatsu and Michiyo "helping" me teach Misuzu's English lesson...

My office azalea bonsai plant...

 Wisteria and hibachi with Hiroko, Akira, and Koji at Hinomoto...

 

The sign just inside my office door.  I pointed to it every time a student tried to speak to me in Japanese...

The view from my office window during my two years teaching there...

Rice harvest in Koro...

Kimberly prepping for her class...

Game night at the B's...

 Prayer tree at Himeji eki...

Friendly class at Megumi Church...

Searching for tadpoles with Becky I...

Hiroko performing the tea ceremony...

 Me...cooking something at Mike & Resa's...

 Hmmmm...

Just hanging out in my office with a bunch of jr. college girls...

Wednesday night dinner with Hiroko, Akira, and Koji...

My office at Hinomoto...

My last cherry blossom season in Japan...

Random shots around Miyuki Doori...

My apartment building...and apartment while packing to move out...